Don't be too hard on yourself when you're frustraded over a mistake

Its very easy to "beat yourself up" when you do something wrong. It is hard to own up to your mistake but most take it pretty hard. On Monday my roommate had locked his keys into his room and did not know what to do. He was frustrated, yelling out every curse word that is known to man, and being negative about himself and I couldn't help to think, "Is this guy out of his mind? Does he realize what he is saying?" This is a guy who is very willing to help when someone is in need, a very good father to 6 kids when they come over to visit, a hard worker at doing the construction in the basement, and he has a fun personality. I couldn't believe what he was saying about himself and it dawned on me.. This is how I react when I get frustrated and upset.

I totally blame myself.. So I did what my friends and family do when I am in his shoes.. I calmly sat him down and I told him that it could of been much worse. He could of been locked out of the house in the middle of the night while I am at work.. So I asked him what he had to do that is so important, "I have to be at Lowes in 20 minutes for a job interview and I need a tie, my keys and my cellphone" he quickly replied.. I told him how willing I was to let him borrow one of my many ties and that I could take him to the Lowes he didn't like that idea at all.. he was like "NO NO NO, I will be okay..", I then let him know how he didn't have much of a choice so as I was in the car I talked to him a bit about his behavior and how he needs to take a step back from the situation take a deep breath and think about the positive aspect about himself..

Its kind of funny how a little mistake like this could just make you do a total 180 and make you the opposite person that you are. I know when I am juggling so many things at once I am bound to mess up on one of them. When you are in the heat of the moment its kind of difficult to catch the way you are acting and calm yourself down unless someone is there by your side.

I recall one time I was having brain farts right and left and at the gas station I forgot my pin number so I called my mom to come down to loan me some money because I couldn't remember those 4 digits to my ATM and I didn't have a credit card at the time.. So she came and lent me some money and then after I was finished pumping gas I went to open my door and it was locked, as I reached in my pocket to get my keys, they weren't there.. So I reached in my other pocket and same thing.. EMPTY and then I went back in the gas station to see if I left them at the counter and nope.. So I ran back to my car and there they were in my cup holder just by the center console.. I was so mad at myself I reacted just like Juan did.. I then called my mom in panic.. when she answered the phone I yelled.. "MOM, I DID SUCH A STUPID THING, I LOCKED MY KEYS IN MT CAR" She calmly told me it was alright. and she asked me if I had a spare.. I told her where it was in my room in my room and she went and got it and then came back to the gas station and gave me my spare and while she was getting it I called up my brother Brent because I knew he is very understanding and he knows me most out of my other 2 brothers. Brent told me that no one is perfect and mom would be understanding and she was.. she just reminded me no matter what it is, it will be solved and just try to be a little bit more alert.

I guess things do brush off from the parents to their children no matter what age because I did exactly what my mom did when Juan was flipping out. I am so blessed to have a such caring and loving mother. I couldn't ask for a better mom.. My step-dad reminds me all the time how lucky my brothers and I are to have her as a mom.. She really is something else.

So when you are in the heat of the moment of being frustrated and acting all out of whack.. Just take a step back.. collect your thoughts... Think about the positives and then you will feel a thousands time better as before, it seems hard but it works.

The place everyone wants to run away to..

Ever since I was born in Salt Lake city, Utah. I have lived in 3 different states (Utah, Pennsylvania, and Alabam), vistied over 20 states (most of which were east of the Mississippi River), and I have driven through and flown over most of the country (Pennsylvania -Washington State, Pennsylvania - Florida, Alabama - Michigan, Utah - Texas, Utah - Alabama). Ther fondest memories that I have growing up are based on the beach in Florida. Whenever we would be out of school for spring break or vacation during the summer; we would spend a week down in Florida in a condo right on the beach. We would go shopping, eat all the seafood one can take, play on the beach and go swimming in the ocean, and we would go crab fishing at sunset when the crab would be in the tide.

When i was younger.. I had a thinking spot.. When my mom would yell at me for fighting in school, I had done something really bad and was punished for, or when I was being picked on by my brothers.. I would hop on my bike and I would go under this bridge down at the creek. I would just spend my time down there skipping rocks in the water, writing in my journal of new jokes I was making up at the moment, thinking of ways to get revenge if it was my brothers that made me upset.. or ways I can make it up to my parents when I had disappointed them. in December of 2001 just a few months after the moove to utah.. My parents told us they were getting divorced on the Sunday right before Christmas right after church.

I saw my mom crying before they had sat us down and I thought she was crying because of my brother Adam wasn't able to call on Christmas because of something to do with his mission. When they had broke the news we all started to tear up... I was really hurt thousands of thoughts went into my mind (maybe if I done this instead of doing this, maybe I shouldn't have said this when this person made me upset, maybe I should of told my parents how much I loved them more often.. Only if I didn't get into trouble at school all the time). The reality of it was it was just differences between my parents that caused the divorce.. it was something that had nothing to do with my brothers nor myself.. SO THANK GOD..

The day after they told us they were getting a divorce, I rode my bike.. just north of my dad's house in Pleasant Grove (the house we lived in before the divorce) and I just kept riding and never really thought where it was going to take me.. until I went into this neighborhood with a huge hill going east I rode up the hill and as I turned around to ride back down real fast.. I noticed the beautiful view over Utah County.. You could see Utah lake witht the mountains beyond the freeway and it was just amazing.. So I hopped off my bike and started hiking onto this dirt hill and I sat down on this rock in the freezing cold and just sat there.. I was lucky it wasn't snowing so I could of capture the wonderful sight. And the defining moment I knew.. I found a thinking spot. and not only for thinking I use it for shooting, picnics, places to take Baily when I take her to visit my dad etc.

Its funny how much a place can make you feel better when you can leave your cell phone, the people around you, the noisiness of the world behind and just spend a few moments to yourself with a place of peace so you can just focus on the positive things in life without any distractions. It makes a difference when you are in a wide open area soyou can just have an hour or 2 just to yourself to think, relax, and just slow down the pace of your busy schedule. I nkow that I am better person when I have time to myslef just to go out and have peace in my life. I even try not to think about the worries and concerns I may have at the time and it makes me a better person and it also gives me better insight on how I can change things for the better when I come back to my busy life. If you go ahead and just spend some of you're time for "me time" you'd be a better person and you wouldn't be as stressed. It amazes me how much peace an hour or 2 of nature can really do for you.

I PROMISE YOU, THIS IS THE VERY LAST ENTRY THAT IS TALKING ABOUT MY PARENT'S DIVORCE.